For You Mark F: In the Name of Love,Never mind,Who Cares,Right,Life is Just To Hurt,According to Your Tribe

drawings by marguerita

Dear Marguerita,

I feel your pain.

I read your last blog post and cried.

Long crocodile tears, as you know me well,

I can lie until the cows come home, nevertheless

I cannot be in touch with you due to my conduct towards you.

As you know I was and am in cohorts with bad people,who advise me

how to be self destructive and turn against you.

I am 62 and a half years old, trying to pass as much younger, have no self respect,thus not understanding what Life is about.

I drink beyond the acceptable, loose my self control, and allow the

losers be my guides.

I never was there for you.

When you need me I ignore you.

You need to calm down, do your artwork and eat.

I am speaking with
Frank.
I did not behave properly.

For 25 years I did not realize that a marriage is a commitment that involves two people.

Now you are homeless, high and dry,as they say,

because I refuse to provide for you,

as much as you always helped me in every way you could. Or can.

I am never there with you.

I never even saw you as my wife, the mother of our two sons.

I just considered you as an ATM machine.

An indentured slave.

A doormat.

I like to show your artwork to whoever I can,only as a vaseline for my advantage.

To endear them.Smart,right?

Your art, for me means nothing.

I just look at its as Donald Duck seeing the $ sign.

Who you are as a woman, a companion,a sincere soul,ah!

Worthless.

Never even a thought ,about your feelings.

Who you are , your achievements.

How you devoted yourself to me and our sons, setting your art in the back burner.

For us. For ME.

Waiting for me, worrying about me.

And there I was,badmouthing you.

I like always to say: "The Grass Is Greener on The Other Side".....

Yes, my great friends, they just mock you.

And I stand by them.

Instead of having dinner with you ,sharing our lives,

seeing a movie, a play,be social,ah.......

I better follow the orders of my friends.

They are friends.Of course ,

they would never put up with the things I do with and to you.

Understand,they are friends.

I say,"why should I feed you?"

and go spend my time until the am with xyz...

I pushed you, Marguerita,

into the lions den all the time,

for my own needs.

Mark