Friday, September 25, 2009

Hitler and Me: aA Letter to my sons Stefan and Jacob

Stefan and Jacob.

 I wanted you to be aware that my father, your grandfather.Dr.Stefan Felix Bornstein,died on September 29th,1967.
 It will be 42 years and I was 17 years old then.
 His last words as he fell into a coma,where "Marguerita how are you and your mother going to survive,not knowing himself that I was already the provider and taking care of him and my mother.
 I was working and believe me I am proud of myself that I was able to stand up on my feet,with integrity and  following my parents will,to be a person  with a conscience and own myself.
 I hope you take a moment to think and evaluate my words.
 My parents instilled in me a sense of strength that no book,college or any institution or religion could ever give me.
 Maybe it does not translate in  dollars,but I am a free and happy woman.
 I only wished that after all I endured through my childhood and after,I would have met a loving man,a companion and someone able to have feelings to share all I gave  and had to offer.
 It is pathetic and tragic,that my dreams of having a home, a family ,harmony and do my artwork,as I always worked and have a talent which I was born with, eluded me .
 Life is full of unpredictable outcomes.
 I have no skeletons in the closet, and I still believe that the sun will shine for me.
 I am grateful to everyone who appears on my path and lends me support and wishes me to live.
 I  hope I will still live for quite sometime,but I am nearing 60,and what a challenge ! I had in my hands so far and still working to pull off.
 It is extremely shocking for me to be facing again  the knocks on the door of the landlords.
 When I decided to come to America in 1976,I was in the process of purchasing a  live and work space.
 I had backing and a social and professional standing,which I earned through my talent.
 I risked it all in the belief that in America I would work and accomplish my goals.
 That was  twisted by Fate.
 I lost my moneys and my time  so far.
 I never stopped .I have faith.
 Material things are not all.
 I still can create and will be recognized for my fortitude and my abilities.
 I need only support.
 I am thankful  for my parents outlook.
 They,who lost all,their country,their lives,their families and all their assets and social standing,taught me to love.
 To love life and be strong.
 They had class.
 And class and culture is in your soul and blood.

 It is only so horrible to hear the landlord buzzing me non stop and threatening to put me in the street


 I did make it by the time I was 24.
 So I should always reminds myself of that.
 IAnd I will make it again,Stefan and Jacob.
 I am asking for that to happen and my willpower will get me there.
  Please forgive me for all the pain that you  both are sharing with me,as I only had wishes for the best.
 Both of you are great individuals,that need to believe in yourselves,be fearless and not afraid of Life.
 We come here for a trip.
 No one knows better and we all have individual puzzles to deal with.
 So,I hope you have peace in your hearts.
  I realize that I am back to zero.or even worse.
 But I promised my father on his deathbed,that I will overcome any obstacles.
 I have hope 
 My love

 It s a high prize to pay,to weather through the tempests that have engulfed me through my life.

 I must repeat Dr.Schaefer's words who is very concerned about me.

 He realizes  who I am,as he is watching me since 1995 when I had a stroke and a witness of my struggle.

 I am not asking for compassion or sentimentality.

 But I am since my birth carrying the fate of my own family,a wonderful family destroyed by Hitler.
 My parents were wonderful souls,brought up with  with a sense  of humanity,which the world  was totally erased since,with great exceptions.
 The world we live in after Hitler is devoid of any values or  boundaries .

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